Addressing Conflict

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people say, “I don’t want to bring that up, it will just create conflict.” I cannot tell you, because the answer is “Many!”

If you ever create a list of bad ideas and put them in order of worst to not so bad, this will be in the top decile.

Why it’s a bad idea

Conflict leads to more effective and efficient solutions to problems common to all the players. Properly handled, everyone comes out ahead.

People fear conflict because they don’t know how to deal with it. They fear others will take the exploration personally. Business is not about “personally”. It is about working together and improving. Relationships are similar.

They are not invisible.

Do you think that the conflict is not there until someone brings it up?

If you don’t get conflicts in the open you have many more problems. The original conflict remains, and those who are troubled by it have that burden to carry. Some of the troubled will leave and that may cost you more than the price to fix the conflict.

Have you noticed that people who are most mobile are the ones with the greatest skills. Why risk losing those first?

How to deal with it.

Few people have good negotiating skills. If a conflict is non-negotiable, at least people will understand the playing field and can make their personal decisions based on what they learn.

If it is negotiable, it should be negotiated. Everyone wins. A better solution, and more predictability.

If the people cannot negotiate have them learn how. There are excellent books on the subject. Chris Voss’s “Never Split The Difference” could help.

Sometimes you should hire an impartial moderator.

The Takeaway

Never allow a conflict to remain hidden. They eventually appear and when they do they are much bigger and more hostile.

I help people have more retirement income and larger, more liquid estates.

Call in Canada 705-927-4770, or email

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