A Key Approach To Life.

Life is difficult sometimes. Present circumstances are certainly trying. What is the decidedly wrong approach to new and challenging situations.

Moving forward.

Being successful is rooted in co-operation. The same is true for society. Anything that minimizes co-operation is antithetical to success. Identify any causes of conflict and negotiate a mutually acceptable way to address those.

Identifying conflict.

Be sure you are seeing conflict. Many people make an easy to fix mistake. They mistake disagreement for conflict. Disagreement is usually a mismatched assessment of the facts or the reasoning used to reach a conclusion.

You can get past disagreement by discovering the differences. It must be open. That is not negotiable.

Preparing lists

List the facts important to my assessment of the situation. You list yours. We find that 90% at least are the same. Beginning cooperation.

Address only the variances. Things on one list but not the other. It is necessary to accommodate those within each of your reasoning structures.

This is where one of, or both of you change. If that doesn’t happen you must assess how the reasoning process works.


Does one of you have an underlying bias in favour of a particular outcome? A bias big enough to make facts irrelevant. Out in the open, unreasonable biases don’t last. If they do, there may not be a rational answer to the conflict.

Find a way around, not through or over. Through and over require conflict. Never useful.

The takeaway

Never mistake disagreement for conflict. Disagreement leads to better. Conflict leads to worse.

If you mishandle disagreement it will grow to be conflict.

Assess disagreement thoroughly. Expect to be wrong, or too narrow, half the time.

Treat disagreement as a cheap way to learn.

You don’t have to like being wrong, but love having been wrong. That means you have learned something.,

I help people have more retirement income and larger, more liquid estates.

Call in Canada 705-927-4770, or email don@moneyfyi.com

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