Everything Before The But

My late friend Targon often said, “Everything before the “but” is bulls…  “

He was talking about a judge delivering his judgement and reasoning.  It applies to far more of the world than that.  “However” sometimes substitutes for “But” and the meaning is identical.

Politicians frequently do it.  Perhaps they believe we will get bored and stop listening before the end of the thought appears.  Probably works.

We do it with our children and significant others.

We should stop.  It is distracting and it reduces the value of the thought you are trying to present.  It misleads or perhaps confuses the listener.  Unless you mean to do that, you need another method.

Simple and direct communication works better because it treats the other person as important.  Statements in the form “Here is my opinion, if you want, let’s discuss how I came to this point” is useful communication.

If you have seen the movie, “Moneyball,” you saw exactly this approach.  “You’ve been traded to Detroit.  Call _______, he is a good guy and will make the travel  arrangements.”

You get an adult response, because the other adult knows what is happening.

When communicating, efficiency is value added.

Don Shaughnessy is a retired partner in an international accounting firm and is presently with The Protectors Group, a large personal insurance, employee benefits and investment agency in Peterborough Ontario. don.s@protectorsgroup.com

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